I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
