I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
