so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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