So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
