Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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