Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
