The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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