the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Randomize
