I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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