dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
