He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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