i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
