i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
