I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Randomize
