I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
