Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
