making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
