he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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