he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
