I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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