His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
third nipple confirmed
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
