Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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