xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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