As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Randomize
