that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Randomize
