absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Randomize
