I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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