brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Houston, we have a blender
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
