covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
