i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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