Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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