Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
