I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
