3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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