We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
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