i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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