the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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