How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
