dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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