i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
