my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
