I'm so fucking centered right now
we have officially lost it.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
