I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
She bit a glass in half.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Randomize
