Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
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