is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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