And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
