Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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