wanna go halves on a baby?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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