Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I'm getting married
To pizza
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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