dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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