her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
