it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
