OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
tonight lets celebrate not being married
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
