We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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