You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
