that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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